Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman: a review

Rating: 5/5

Review By: Riya

I came across Call Me By Your Name by pure chance. I was browsing online and found this book on a list of top recommends. Normally I gloss over such recommends, but the title of the book caught my eye - “Call Me By Your Name”. What could that possibly mean? I went on Goodreads, saw that it had a good rating and rave reviews. I was convinced, this book is worth checking out.

And boy, WAS IT WORTH IT. I have read many beautiful books, but this one just swept me away, I couldn’t put it down. I got caught up, tangled, captured in Elio and Oliver’s world, in the Italian countryside, in the summer afternoons. It was magical, it was nostalgic ( I have been to the Italian countryside once, though I never got the opportunity to spend languid days at an Italian villa). But most importantly, this book was RAW, it was REAL.

So let me first quickly tell you what the book is about before I swoon over the beauty of it. Call Me By Your Name is about the summer romance that springs up between 2 boys, Elio and Oliver when Oliver spends a summer in Elio’s house as a doctoral student who helps out his father with his academic work. The book is set in the Italian countryside, as romantic a setting as any for a timeless romance between these 2 men who struggle with their emotions to finally find each other and through it themselves. The story flows as a game of push and pull between the two as they alternate between companionship and coldness. The last 3 days they spend together in Rome have a hazy, almost nostalgic quality to them, they are in the moment, but as a reader, I am in the past.

I absolutely loved every page of the book, even the difficult parts. The descriptions were so intricate, they painted a picture of the setting. I felt like I was there right next to Elio, seeing everything he saw, feeling everything he felt. The relationships between the characters are beautifully constructed, each of them being more than meets the eye.

What I truly love is how the romance between the 2 men is beautifully written. It is not pure and kind, it has its ups and its angry, jealous moments. Elio feels both love and self-loathing during parts of the physical intimacy that the 2 of them share. You get to see the journey he goes through to find himself, to get comfortable in his skin and with his own sexuality.

One moment between them really stayed with me as it was so poignant and felt like something we have all experienced when starting a new relationship with someone.

“Do you hide from me?” ”No, not from you. Or maybe, yes, a bit.” “Like what?” “You know exactly like what.” “Why do you say that?” “Why? Because I think you can hurt me and I don’t want to be hurt.”

Going back to the relationships, I love the discussion Elio has with his father towards the end where his father admits to knowing that Elio is bi-sexual and tells him that what he had with Oliver was very rare and special and that he should let himself experience the pain and loss in its entirety. It is so rare to read of parents who are so accepting of their children and who, in fact, guide them on how to deal with their emotions in a healthy manner.

In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with is. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to fell nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!

The last few pages of the book were very difficult for me to read, because they were just too real. We read to be transported to another world where anything is possible, where people are brave, they are fierce, they fight for what they want and they get it. But this book went ahead and broke my heart, it depicted life as it often flows in reality. Elio and Oliver move on with their lives, occasionally staying in touch and many years later, Elio seeks out Oliver and they catch up about their lives over dinner. The scene is beautiful, it is fraught with tension, the what-ifs, the what-could have been. The final scene when Oliver visits Elio back in his Italian home made me realise, that you won’t always get the picture-perfect ending, sometimes all you get is a short journey and that is enough to keep you going your entire life.

I could go on and on about this book. Anything said is too less. So I’ll just end by saying that this book is a definite must-read and worth every compliment it has ever received.

P.S. I know I said the previous paragraph was the end but couldn’t resist adding this. I came across this interesting line in this book -

People who read are hiders. They hide who they are. People who hide don’t always like who they are

unpopular opinion or the painful truth? What do you think?

Please do leave a comment if you read this book and want to share your thoughts on it. I would love to discuss, debate or simply gush about favourite moments with you!